its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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