We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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