so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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