Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
