He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
