just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
