You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
