In America we eat man semen.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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