I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
