She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
