hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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