I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
