You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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