We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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