if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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