It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
