my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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