If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
