dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
