he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
