You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
