bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
