He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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