i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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