are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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