Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
