Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
