If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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