i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
