Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I would ride that face into the sunset
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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