Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
