Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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