Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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