The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
