my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
