it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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