Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
