Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
