escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We need to get me chipped asap
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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