I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
