they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
