Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My balls are so social today.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
