We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
