Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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