I accidentally had phone sex last night
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Drunk is not a location!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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