So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
