I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Who died my cat blue again?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i out mim tonsoeep
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
