so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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