i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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