I think scott just propositioned me for sex
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
